Dear Nora Ephron,

Dear Nora Ephron,
   I should have written this sooner. It's hard knowing now that it is too late for this to ever reach you. I have not read your books which is why I did not have you in the mental list of letters to be written but now that you are gone I realize although I did not pick up a novel, I have heard your words over and over in some of my favorite movies. These words and these characters have been my favorites for a long time, just like characters in my books. And I revisit them over and over like my favorite books. I was just too foolish to see this earlier.
   I cannot stop watching once Sleepless in Seattle is on. If it's the very beginning, I know to clear my schedule for 2 hours because I'm not leaving. I just love everything about the movie. Unfortunately, it probably has caused more real life relationship problems than any work of fiction in history. More than just the story, fate bringing two people together, it's the conversations I love. I love Meg Ryan and Rosie O'Donnell mouthing the words from An Affair to Remember and crying together. I love Tom Hanks and Victor Garber making fun of sappy girl movies. Most of all, I love Tom Hanks describing the love of his passed wife. "It was like....magic." I love it, I always have and I always will. I wish I knew what happen to Annie and Sam (and Jonah and Jessica) and hope they live all together in Seattle on the water and forever happy magically in love.
   When Harry Met Sally should come with a waiver, this may happen to you, but probably will not. As Chuck Klosterman wrote, once a woman gets the idea in her head that a her friend who is boy may fall passionately in love with her and then become her boyfriend she will always believe it will happen. There is not a women alive who has not gone through it. Had a guy who was a friend who spent all her time with just waiting for the moment when it finally clicks in his head that yes, he does love her and runs to be with her exclaiming, "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want to the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I'm sure, in real life, it had happen and will keep happening in the future, but not for me (although I'm very happy with how my love story is turning out). The best scene is when Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal finally do have sex and you see her, ecstatic and happy and then pan over to him panicked and losing his mind. It's not perfect, it's not even good and it's so real which so many movies just don't do. I still love it because I love the dialogue, I love them talking together and I love how it feels like you and me and every conversation you swear you had but didn't.
    It doesn't stop there, I'm actually rewatching You've Got Mail right now. I love Meg Ryan in this movie and for a long time I really though I just loved Meg Ryan. With no disrespect, I've seen her in other movies and not as impressed. It's the words, Nora Ephron's words, that give her the heart that I love and the words that make her feel like someone I know or could have known.
  Most recently, I have loved Julie and Julia. Now for all honestly, I preferred the Julia part more than Julie but I do confess, I want to do what Julie did. I want to try something for a year and blog about it and have followers that care about it. I want to be transformed by something like she was by food. I have always loved Julia Child. I had no idea what an amazing and interesting person she was. I hope to have half the tenacity, spunk and joy she had, even if it wasn't really real. I need to go buy this movie right now.
  Nora's characters are more real than most. Her woman are not lost or wander. They have careers, they live strong lives in the city. They usually already have a relationship so they are not usual PJ wearing, ice cream eating, crying over Mr. Darcy sad, sad women (no disrespect). I wish I could live in the places these characters live and have the experiences these characters have. Cooking, reading, writing, traveling and laughing through life. The saddest part of all this is there will be no more characters being silly, not perfect and have the ultimate conversations. I hope she had those conversations and I hope I have conversations worth having. You will be missed but you will live in over and over again. I hope more and more girls grow up on these movies and love them like I do. To me, they will always be...magic.

Sincerely,

KT

Dear Stacey Ballis,

Dear Stacey Ballis,
     Thank you for giving me such a fantastic and perfect summer read. Good Enough to Eat is a sweet story with a backbone that shows a characters flaws and makes you love her for it. I had alternatives motives when buying this book, but I have none recommending it.
     Originally I bought this book because of Jen Lancaster. I have loved reading about Bravo nights and trips to the opera. I loved reading about the friendship and the hilarious things that happen. So of course, I knew I'd have to read this book. Ironically, I remember seeing this book in hardcover in Target a while back, before I put two and two together and remember how nice it seemed and how much the cover reminded me of home. So when Bill and I were at the Book Warehouse and I found this book, I snatched it up as fast as I could. The story is fabulous as it seems to begin where a big girl's happily ever after ends. If you are a big girl and then lose all the weight, what happens next? That's what I loved about this story. I have seen so many stories about women losing weight and then in the end they are skinny and they get the guy and everything is great. But it's not that simple. I love that the character has relapses and needs support. I respect the honesty of the what you may look like when all that weight is gone and how that makes you feel too. I love that losing a whole person sometimes means becoming a new person too.
    But there is another side to this, food. I love good food. I always have. I love cooking and baking and that thing you feel feeding others. So when it comes to the food stories in the beginning of each chapter, not only could I relate, I was reminded of my own stories from my family. How my friends thought my mom must be constantly making apple pies because everytime they came over there was a pie there. How we HAD to make raviolis when the Patriots played or they wouldn't win and they tasted so so much better when they won. The first meal I made for Bill. The first things he made for me. My christmas chicken wings that try as I may, I cannot make them taste like my moms. And the best part of this is the memories that we all have with food. How no one makes something as good as mom. How the best times can sometimes have the best food. I have good food memories like many people and it's a nice connection we can all make. In my opinion, you are just fooling yourself if you say you don't have any good food memories.  Lots of people don't want to talk about it, maybe they think that talking about food makes them look weak or unhealthy. Maybe, but food is not something that we can go without so why try to ignore it?
      Besides all the food, I love that Mel doesn't follow the same generic path as you may think. The ending is one that doesn't feel the need to come to a clear and straight conclusion. I feel that some author's aren't brave enough to let the ending be not tidy and not happily ever after. But I do understand how wonderful friends can be in your life and I do feel a strong connection to that.
   I spent the majority of the time reading this book in the sunshine on a boat. It was the perfect way to read this story, but I got so into it, I read it in the car, while everyone else was watching a movie and late into the night. I know that is the showing of a great story. I did not want it to end, but I couldn't stop. Thank you for this story and the strength to say out loud that food is good and so am I.

Sincerely,
KT

Good Enough to EatGood Enough to Eat

Dear Tim Gunn,

Dear Tim Gunn,
   I love you. Like a tween at a Bieber concert, I think you are fabulous. When I first started watching Project Runway, I loved how you worked with, what I feel, were your students. You could have been like Simon from Idol and made these people cry. You could have been snarky and told them how you would do it and how they were wrong. But you didn't. You told them to make it work. You took the high road when Santino mocked you. You always took the role of the gentleman and even when bitchy Kenley ignored you and gave you such attitude I wanted to smack that red lipstick off her stuck up face, you never yelled at her, you never gave her attitude back. And you know what? She looked like a pestilent child and you looked like the smart respectable gentleman. So when I saw you promoting a book on Life Rules, I knew that I had to read it. I don't want to be a Kenley. I want to make it work.
    The book is very interesting. It's part memoir, part life lesson, but all conversation. It feels like a letter sent out to friends. It's very candid and open, but does jump around. Sometimes I forgot the main idea of the chapter but it always came back around. I was so glad it wasn't Dr. Laura preachy. The last thing I needed was someone telling me all the things I'm doing wrong and all the things I should be doing. These are just some basic rules of being nice and a good person. Nothing will rock your world and nothing will take a giant leap of faith to make a position change in your life.
   We need to talk about manners because as a teacher, I can tell you, our future has no manners. The students now a days are awful. There is no respect, there is no kindness, no class. They don't say please or thank you. They don't put someone else's needs before themselves or even think of others at all. They do thinks that physically hurt each other and they don't care. They have no respect or fear for their teachers, principals or dean. They speak in rude, mean tones. Now let me say this, I have at least 5 sweet, kind students who are taught manners. But that is 5 out of 20. I have one who is completely respectful and has fantastic manners. He has a terrible home situation which makes me wonder if manners are genetic.
      So I am trying to take the Tim Gunn way in my classroom. I try and say "Make It Work" when they don't know what to do. They look at me strangely and grumble about getting help, but ultimately they figure it out. I try to teach Karma in a way that they understand. I tell them, when you do good things, good things happen to you. So when they are quietly working when a teacher is talking to me or line up without me asking I take them to extra recess. When one of them does something nice, I give them tickets for no reason. I hope it leaves an impact.
   There was only one part of this book that rocked my world. It's not what you think. I'm not a fashionista by any means. I'm no future contestant on Project Runway. I don't take risks or follow Vogue. But there is one thing I do know, you never wear black and brown together. So in the chapters about fashion, the fact that Tim Gunn, who I see as the fashion expert, who to me is the epitome of style writes that it's okay to wear black and brown, I don't know what to do. Since I read that chapter, I see THEM mixed (black and brown clothes and accessories) every where. I saw a girl in a beautiful long black sweater, skinny jeans and long brown boots. She looked awesome. I think, that looks great. I look in my closet. I see a cute brown top with nice black pants. Can't do it. I can't do it. I may have worn the side pony tail and jelly shoes, but I knew that black pants had any color but brown and brown pants had any color but black. I can't do it. The only way I'll wear brown and black if it Tim Gunn picks out the outfit himself. And that's a promise.
    Overall, this is a sweet, charming book like I picture Gunn himself is. A conversation that sometimes veers away but always makes you smile. Thank you for this kind and enjoyable moment.

 Sincerely,
KT

Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work

Dear Sarah Jane Gilman,

Dear Sarah Jane Gilman,
    I wish I could teach a class just with your book. Kiss My Tiara would be my textbook and my curriculum. I love this book and I love it's message.
   First, the story. I am a very emotional, dramatic person. I think in the past few years I have mellowed and overall I am happy. However at 20 and 21 I was not. I was angry and not happy with my choices in life. I was so dramatic and couldn't figure out why these relationships with High School and College boys weren't working out. (now I know it's just High School and College boys) A teenage and twenty something girl is so hormonal and obsessive it's hard to see the forest for the trees. My main education on love and romance was chick flicks.Say Anything, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, Saved, the list goes on and on.  So taking my cues from all the dumb movies where the girl changes everything and gives up everything and magically the guy comes along, I wasn't doing too well. And than I found this book. I would browse the love and relationships sections of my favorite Barnes and Nobel all the time. I never bought anything though. I never felt like it was the right book. I'm not sure if Kiss My Tiara was suppose to be in that section because to me, it's more life lesson than love lessons. It does it all. It helped me see the bigger picture, to relax and to me, it's the guide manual they do not give you.
    Let me show you. Chapter 9 is titled "Every Idiot We Date is One Less Idiot We Risk Marrying." Perfect. I never thought of it that way. I used to think every date, may be the one and I treated it like it could be the one. I tried and worried, I called and messed up. I got my hopes up and watched them go drain. Then I read the first line, Dating Sucks, it changed things. I love the advice. I love the idea that not everything is so serious, not everything needs to be so hard. I like the idea that we don't need to fuss and fight so much. That we can have a sense of humor, and enjoy ourselves in the process. There is so much common sense that we take for granted that needed to be spoken to me. Art Museums beat Vogue, Why are we doing all the work when we have the goods, Don't be Calm, women who eat are sexy, you can't ask for a raise if you can't order dessert, don't believe that all single women are miserable. There is so much that we already know, but we need to hear and hear it again.
   The subtitle of this book is How to Rule the World As a SmartMouth Goddess. I decided the first time reading this, that's exactly what I wanted to be: a SmartMouth Goddess. I want to speak my mind, I want to live life to the fullest and enjoy myself. And I wish that these middle school girls I see day in and day out could know this too. They are 13, 14, 15 and they are so consumed by these boys. They let them say awful things and they break themselves down for these little boys who in five years won't mean much and in ten years won't mean anything at all. If they could only see that if they enjoy themselves, if they don't take it all seriously and if they stop bringing girls down. Things would be so much better.
   Thank you for this book. Thank you for telling women that they are beautiful on the inside, that we really need to stop, take some stock and enjoy themselves. Life is too hard as it is. We shouldn't make it any harder.  Overall the last line says it all, and needs to be my moto  "...Follow our own path, stand tall and don't take any s*it."

Sincerely,
KT

Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess

Dear Jean-Dominique Bauby,

Dear Jean-Dominique Bauby,
       I am writing this to you knowing you will never read this. You are gone but you will never be forgotten. I am not writing this as a viewer of the movie adaptation. That was a tragedy and I try not to think of it as I read your book. How do you take the thoughts of a paralyzed man and make a movie out of it? No.
      The love I have for this book comes not only from its words but from the time it was given me. It was a the right book, at the right time and exactly what I needed. When I was in High School, my family, who always took the family trip to the family beach house in Florida, changed courses and booked a cabin by a lake in Vermont. Let's be real, it wasn't a real rustic cabin, it had Directv. It was small though. I slept in the top bunk in a set of beds built into the wall. The ceiling was six inches from my head. The cabin happened to sit on land with a big lake house as well and the Stone family from Scotland rented it out. This was a vacation of a lifetime. It was filled with finding streams in the woods, chasing local dogs out of the kitchen and floating in a row boat with headphones for hours. Eventually, we became friendly with the neighbors, sitting out by the fire for hours. That night, I mentioned to the mother that I had finished my books I brought with me by the second day. The next day she hands me this shiny blue book. She tells me she bought it at the airport and finished it. She thinks I'll like it. I read it in hours. Then read it again. Then again. Then again. It was like nothing I read before. At that point, I was 15 if not 16, incredibly emo, drama filled teenager. This book and vacation began changing me. There was more than my little world back home and there was and always will be the chance that everything can go away in a second.
      The story of a man with locked in syndrome doesn't sound extraordinary. Paralyzed except for an eyelid, it should be sad, but it's incredibly uplifting. This life is a living hell. I can't imagine having my spouse so close to me, hearing their cries, and not being able to reach out. But this is not a poor me. This is a life worth living book. My two favorite parts, I can read over and over. I love the story of a young Jean and his pals opening a magazine and going to the race track. With all their friends money and a sure things, they get too caught up with the track and miss placing their bets. Of course the horse wins, of course everyone thinks they won a ton of money. But it wasn't meant to me. In a way it sums of his life to something of the affect of, the horse was all the women we didn't love, all the chances we didn't take, all the things we never did. That really struck me. What have I missed by not taking a chance? My other favorite part is almost morbid but in the end it's really not. When describing the first time in a wheelchair, all the hospital staff are described. I love the silliness and almost joy there is in describing everyone. No profanity, everyone is judged by their funny attributes or the little things I'm sure they don't realize they are doing. It should be awful, it should be sad. It's not. It's hilarious. The cheerleaders, the grumps, it's inspiring to see what could be ignored is embraced. What could be hostile is livable.
     That's what I took away. What should be awful is livable, so why is my wonderful life seemingly awful. It's not. I talk about this story all the time. I wrote about it in my school paper. I put it on my facebook. I've flung my copy on anyone who promises to give it back. It brings my silliness and emoness and dramaness into check. It makes me understand that there is me in this fishbowl that has no idea of the ocean that is out there and I need to remember even though I cannot see the shore, it is still there.

Sincerely,
 KT

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death

Dear Phillip Done,

Dear Phillip Done,
       Thank you for writing the truth about teaching. Thank you for telling the good and the bad. Thank you for being honest. Most of all, thank you for not telling me how to be a good teacher, but showing me how to be a good teacher.
       Your first book, 30 Third Graders and a Classroom Bunny came to me at a time when I most needed it. Let me back up a little first. Everything clicked when I decided to become a teacher. I remember it completely. I was at Umass Dartmouth as an English major suffering with the idea that when I was done, I would be an English? Didn't make sense. As I was walking the long sidewalk from the campus to the dorms, it just came to me. I should be a teacher. That what I am suppose to be. Two colleges and a year later, I had my first day in a classroom. It was perfect. One day in a fifth grade in Westfield. I loved it. I love working with the kids, I loved teaching them, I loved being in a school. I was hooked. From then to the end of college, I was happiest in the classroom. Third grade, first grade, fifth grade. I loved it all. I loved writing lessons, coming up new and exciting things to do. I even loved teaching from the book. Didn't matter. I was happy.
    When I graduated in January, I was ready to go. Nearly 10 interviews later, I was close, so close, this close, but not a teacher. Everyone in MA told me I was fantastic, just not enough experience. So when the opportunity to try to teach in Florida came up, I applied to a charter school and expected nothing. Four days later I was hired over the phone to teach second grade. I remember being at my friend's house, since it was close to work at the time, nearly in shock. I had a job, and now I was moving 2,000 miles to get there.
        A month later, it's real. I'm in Port St.John, no where near home and I'm teaching. It was like nothing I expected. It was so much harder than I thought and I cried every day on the way home. What the hell was I doing? That first weekend, I went to the Cocoa Beach Library to find some Ed books and I found 30 3rd Graders. It was unbelievable. Here I was thinking I was doing everything wrong and here was a fantastic teacher, doing the same things I was doing. Here was great advice that I could use that was not all about theory, psychology, and all that other stuff. You were a real teacher, with real kids, with real problems and accomplishments that happen to me too.
         The best advice was when it was just too much to teach. The day a spider got into the room, I knew better than to keep trying to teach. We went outside to visit other spiders. When Meet the Teacher night came, I remembered to be prepared. When the students asked me at 22 if I was 40, I knew I was not the only one. I felt like our classrooms were very similar as were my feelings for teaching.
    Recently, I came to discover you have a new book out. I was beyond excited. I often wondered if you were facing the things I was facing like standardized tests and politicians. Close Encounters of the Third Grade kind was in no store here in Orlando, so I figured I would order it online after my vacation. A trip to San Francisco and I remembered that is where you were from and maybe the Borders in Union Square would have it. It was like finding gold when your book was on the shelf. I instantly started reading it and now I'm halfway through. Which brings me to now and maybe you can help me here because halfway through your second book, I feel nothing like I did before.
       I left the Charter School after my second year because I was tired of living in fear of being fired, I wanted insurance, I wanted a school with a cafeteria, a nurse and walls. I wanted to go into public schools with their fancy school libraries and more than one teacher per grade. It took a while but I got my dream job in Celebration. The school I have always, always wanted to teach in. Celebration is a dream community. Something, literally, out of a Disney movie. It was hard,  but it was awesome. The parents were tough, but always there for me. The standards were high, but there was always someone there to help. It was a great run until about April. Budget cuts and I was the last one in, the first to go. I was devastated. I had what I always wanted and now they told me I had to go. I had another job soon,  but it was the same.
     Now I'm at a brand new school. I spent last school year teaching 6th grade language arts, which wasn't for me, but I didn't completely hate. I've spent my fifth year teaching, teaching 4th grade with all the Special Needs kids. Which brings me to today and to what I'm hoping you can help me with.
     I don't feel that happiness anymore. I'm sure you feel it somewhat in California, but here in Florida it is hard to be a teacher. When did I become the villain? When did the idea of a teacher go from the man or woman who believed in your child, you helped your son or daughter reach for new heights, open up a little more of the world. When did we become these lazy, unionized, idiots who do not do anything and do not meet the needs of your student? When did we go from reading books to sitting filing our nails? And for God's sake, when did we become so high paid that it became a problem? I don't know about you, but my salary is nothing to brag about. Pool men make more money than I do. Here in Florida, the new governor has passed back to back laws taking our pension, taking away tenure and instituting merit pay. It's test, test, test. Data, data, data. I give more tests than ever. I rush through curriculum to stay on the county timelines. I am pushed to teach just like everyone else. I don't have time for projects, fun stuff. I don't have money to buy supplies. I have a revolving door  of students and laundry list of things I have to do every day. I keep data and have to explain over and over why this one students got this one score on this one test. I hate what I do.
    Am I alone in feeling this? Is the world against teachers now or is it my corner of the world in my corner of the school? Is this what they talked about when they told my first education class that most of us wouldn't make it past the first five years? I love the overall idea of teaching, I drowning in everything else. Every now and again, I feel a glimmer of what use to be there. When something sticks with a student, or they discover something new, or they all fight over the same book we read in class. But those moments are so few and far between they don't drive me anymore. I'm burnt out, tired and here I'm not alone. I know many teachers who feel the way I feel. Does it get better or have you never been where I am now? I know this is a lot to ask a stranger, but it almost feels like I'm asking a mentor. I turned to you when things were tough then and I guess I'm looking for answers now.
    I hope this wasn't presumptuous. I hope it wasn't incredibly boring and a waste of your time. I hope you aren't staring in amazement not understanding anything I say. Most of all, I hope that you don't feel like I do. Thank you for writing, thank you for teaching and thank you for everything you've done for teachers.

Sincerely,
KT